omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well I just put wine in my tea
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
