I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
