I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Bring me that man meat
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize