I will die if light touches me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize