Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
