Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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