I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
