I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
