You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have demons in me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
organizing the empties. That sober.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
