remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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