I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
