just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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