i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
