i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
