i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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