I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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