I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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