i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
