I didn't shave. On purpose
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
