CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
