just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
