haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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