So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
