Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
