like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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