I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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