sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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