I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
