My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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