Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize