We're facebook friends in real life
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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