i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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