Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
