do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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