well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
