Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
