fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
