Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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