time to smoke my breakfast
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
