But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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