i don't like sucking hair
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
