Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
