Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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