is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
