Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
