And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
