do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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