come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
