Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?

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(509): View more from Washington

I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.

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(845): View more from New York

tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.

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(408): View more from California

I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...

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(408): View more from California

im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.

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(516): View more from New York

Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good

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(763): View more from Minnesota

He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...

(847): View more from Illinois

Marry him.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners

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