During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
