Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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