every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
