can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
