I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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