This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
