this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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