I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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