she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
