We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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