To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
