I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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