Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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