he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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