I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
