He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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