this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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