Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
