i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
