im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
