I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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