In the future we'll all be gay
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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