yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
