I can text with my tongue
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
