Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
