: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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